My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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