I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
