this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
