you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
