Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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