whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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