So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We don't watch enough power rangers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
