you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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