You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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