The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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