Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
