ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
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