hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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