I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
