Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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