so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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