OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
