I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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