just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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