Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize