he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize