I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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