So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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