Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
