Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
