dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
