They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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