We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
