i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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