Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
