I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Randomize
