How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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