I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
