...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
