Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
