saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How external is "for external use only"?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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