508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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