I wanna bring you to show and tell
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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