I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why do cheetos always look like penises
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
