dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
