when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
