all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize