Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.