It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
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he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..