I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.