i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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