We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
