she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
As shirtless as possible
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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