living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
