Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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