I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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