talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
