8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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