I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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