Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
