I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
