hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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