If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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