just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
