Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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