We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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