i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
