Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
