school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
