Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
